This is embarrassing.
It has been eons since my last post.
I have missed blogging. There have been a million times I have wanted to race home and post something, but it obviously never happened. There are reasons...but they all come across like excuses. And I know/knew that once I begin posting again, it is a habit that will have to be fed. So it scares me to start again.
It also scares me, because what if nobody cares that I've off the blogosphere? And that in turn scares me as well, because then that means I may be posting for someone other than me...and that's not really the point either.
Finally, it scares me because I don't know where to begin. I think it's a little odd to go back to February--especially when that was so long ago that I don't remember everything that happened! Not that much has changed...although in a sense, everything has changed. Part of me thinks that this is supposed to be the here and now, and part me acknowledges that it is the past that creates the here and now.
Obviously I haven't become a better philosopher in the past 8 months.
While I haven't been posting myself, I have been lurking around other blogs. And that also didn't seem quite right. So I guess the fact that I keep thinking "I should really blog about this!" and "am I a Peeping Blogger?" have led me to conclude that it's time to return.
For one thing, it allowed me to keep my sanity many times. And these days, sanity is something that can't be overlooked.
So I'm (I think) back.
Showing posts with label Insightful Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Insightful Me. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, November 3, 2008
I am WOMAN
Hear me roar.
This weekend Hubby was out of town helping his sister pack to move. I was a free woman to take a bubble bath, lounge around, bake up a storm for a bake sale, read some novels, and watch a few movies. Around work, of course.
So instead I decided to become an adult. A situation presented itself, and it was time to see if I was going to remain a little girl or become a WOMAN. It was something that would separate the child from the grown up.
It was a dead mouse.
I cannot believe that it is 65 or so degrees and November. I stupidly assumed it was too warm for us to have mice, and so I let Hubby leave the state. Remember how I am with Mickey? If I had any idea, I probably would have forbid him to leave. Instead, I decided to be unselfish and to ship him to Colorado to be with his family. You know, the one that hates me? It was kismet, as there was a lesson to be learned.
I walked in the front door, and froze. There it lay, between the loveseat and couch, blocking the doorway to the kitchen, with the kitten's paw poised above it. I had my arms full, and rather than dropping everything and leaping onto the couch or armchair, I calmly (okay, so I was shaking and goosebumps were up and tears began to fill my eyes in fear) put down my stuff, and told the cat "NO!" and considered my options. I could spend the weekend going outside the front door and around the backyard to get in the back door to the kitchen/dining room every time I wanted something. I could call Hubby and demand he steal a car from his family and race down to Podunk (a 6 hour drive) and rescue me. I could cry and call my mommy. I could demand my father save me. Or I could face up to my responsibilities. I stepped over the body.
The little eye that was facing me stared up. I did not feel for breath or a pulse--I'm not about to be THAT grown up and adult. I simply backed away from him/her/it and into the kitchen. There was no way I was going to touch the thing, so I had formulated a plan that involved gathering a bunch of plastic groceries bags and that would be squishy enough that I wouldn't know if it was the body or the bags. I returned to the scene of the murder and I put the bunched up bags over the body. I then took the plunge and grabbed quickly, making the mistake of turning it upright as I raised the body and bags towards me to put it in another bag (hey, field mice have deadly diseases around here...one couldn't have too many bags!). The little body was still warm enough that his/her/its body folded. Gross, but I have to explain how close I was to squealing and dropping the doggone thing.
Worse still was it's little body folded and the eye moved, so I was suddenly convinced it was still alive. How I would have dealt with that, I don't know. That's apparently another lesson for another day. So I put the mouse in the other bag, double tied it and raced down the front steps to the garbage can.
I still pass over the scene of the crime every time I walk into the kitchen and imagine that little body. It's not a morbid or gross thing (thank God the cats don't ever eat the mice, they just leave them as they were when they passed on). The big cat climbed into my lap promptly after the short trip to the garbage can with the body bag, and meowed at me softly. My response? A loud ROAR back and a "thank you, fat cat." I passed the test.
Who knew it took a dead mouse to make me a woman?
This weekend Hubby was out of town helping his sister pack to move. I was a free woman to take a bubble bath, lounge around, bake up a storm for a bake sale, read some novels, and watch a few movies. Around work, of course.
So instead I decided to become an adult. A situation presented itself, and it was time to see if I was going to remain a little girl or become a WOMAN. It was something that would separate the child from the grown up.
It was a dead mouse.
I cannot believe that it is 65 or so degrees and November. I stupidly assumed it was too warm for us to have mice, and so I let Hubby leave the state. Remember how I am with Mickey? If I had any idea, I probably would have forbid him to leave. Instead, I decided to be unselfish and to ship him to Colorado to be with his family. You know, the one that hates me? It was kismet, as there was a lesson to be learned.
I walked in the front door, and froze. There it lay, between the loveseat and couch, blocking the doorway to the kitchen, with the kitten's paw poised above it. I had my arms full, and rather than dropping everything and leaping onto the couch or armchair, I calmly (okay, so I was shaking and goosebumps were up and tears began to fill my eyes in fear) put down my stuff, and told the cat "NO!" and considered my options. I could spend the weekend going outside the front door and around the backyard to get in the back door to the kitchen/dining room every time I wanted something. I could call Hubby and demand he steal a car from his family and race down to Podunk (a 6 hour drive) and rescue me. I could cry and call my mommy. I could demand my father save me. Or I could face up to my responsibilities. I stepped over the body.
The little eye that was facing me stared up. I did not feel for breath or a pulse--I'm not about to be THAT grown up and adult. I simply backed away from him/her/it and into the kitchen. There was no way I was going to touch the thing, so I had formulated a plan that involved gathering a bunch of plastic groceries bags and that would be squishy enough that I wouldn't know if it was the body or the bags. I returned to the scene of the murder and I put the bunched up bags over the body. I then took the plunge and grabbed quickly, making the mistake of turning it upright as I raised the body and bags towards me to put it in another bag (hey, field mice have deadly diseases around here...one couldn't have too many bags!). The little body was still warm enough that his/her/its body folded. Gross, but I have to explain how close I was to squealing and dropping the doggone thing.
Worse still was it's little body folded and the eye moved, so I was suddenly convinced it was still alive. How I would have dealt with that, I don't know. That's apparently another lesson for another day. So I put the mouse in the other bag, double tied it and raced down the front steps to the garbage can.
I still pass over the scene of the crime every time I walk into the kitchen and imagine that little body. It's not a morbid or gross thing (thank God the cats don't ever eat the mice, they just leave them as they were when they passed on). The big cat climbed into my lap promptly after the short trip to the garbage can with the body bag, and meowed at me softly. My response? A loud ROAR back and a "thank you, fat cat." I passed the test.
Who knew it took a dead mouse to make me a woman?
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
God Speed
God has an interesting way of putting things into perspective for us.
Here I am, careening down the main drag to go to another town with my girlfriend, worrying about the fact that we are incurring an approximately $400-500 cost a month, and that the dog has to have surgery done on top of that charge to the tune of another $500, and I have no idea where I'm going to discover a magic $1,000 extra in our monthly budget this month, when I realize that all the other cars are slowing down and driving doggone close to the ridiculous 40 miles per hour posted. As I turn to my girlfriend to say, bet there's a speed trap ahead, I realize that the nice officer with the radar gun is tuned on my vehicle, and I am not going the posted speed limit. I say to my friend, we're going to get pulled over, and sure enough, here comes the friendly officer behind me.
Yup, while I'm worrying and fretting about money, I received a $65 ticket. It should have been $80, but the officer told me that honesty goes a long way and docked 5 miles off my speed.
Ironic thoughts are that in Podunk, the ticket would have been more than double that. Of course, in Podunk, I'm not so sure I would have gotten a ticket.
Here I am, careening down the main drag to go to another town with my girlfriend, worrying about the fact that we are incurring an approximately $400-500 cost a month, and that the dog has to have surgery done on top of that charge to the tune of another $500, and I have no idea where I'm going to discover a magic $1,000 extra in our monthly budget this month, when I realize that all the other cars are slowing down and driving doggone close to the ridiculous 40 miles per hour posted. As I turn to my girlfriend to say, bet there's a speed trap ahead, I realize that the nice officer with the radar gun is tuned on my vehicle, and I am not going the posted speed limit. I say to my friend, we're going to get pulled over, and sure enough, here comes the friendly officer behind me.
Yup, while I'm worrying and fretting about money, I received a $65 ticket. It should have been $80, but the officer told me that honesty goes a long way and docked 5 miles off my speed.
Ironic thoughts are that in Podunk, the ticket would have been more than double that. Of course, in Podunk, I'm not so sure I would have gotten a ticket.
Friday, July 11, 2008
More Adventures in the Land of Oz
Just returned home from a trip to another glamorous part of New Mexico. Actually, it was quite lovely where I was, although I have to confess it's another area I would never live in. God would have to do a lot of smacking me upside the head with a 2x4 to convince me to move there.
I'm a little hesitant to say too much about where I was...see the previous post. I gather that I really offended someone from another part of the state--which is never my intentions--and when that person commented that I was "mistaken" in my impressions, I did not take it very well...as may be apparent by the fact that I still have some bitterness in my tone.
I love that people stumble upon this blog, and I love that some even post comments. I just hope that people remember that this is my impression, my thoughts, my feelings, etc., and therefore, things should be taken as gospel. Okay, not really gospel, but the gospel according to Kate. I have never intended to drag down society, and believe it or not, I am fairly knowledgeable about some things, and sometimes I have done my homework before blasting off my thoughts.
That being said, I also don't believe in deleting anything from this blog. I did so once before, and I really regretted it, because selfishly, this is about my journey through life, and it can be fairly amusing to laugh at myself later.
So let's just say that I went somewhere for a week in this wonderful state. Some good came from it, some not so good came of it, and some that won't waiver me anyway came out of it. It rained (because we're finally in monsoon season) and flooded parts of the town I was nearby. It was not as dry as Deming or Silver City was just about three weeks ago. I had never been there, so it was an adventure. I doubt I'd ever return. And the whole purpose of the trip was for work purposes, and that was a waste of department time/taxpayer dollars. I think my partner in crime for the week and I just wanted to put on our fancy red shoes and chant "there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home" until we found ourselves with Toto in bed.
I'm a little hesitant to say too much about where I was...see the previous post. I gather that I really offended someone from another part of the state--which is never my intentions--and when that person commented that I was "mistaken" in my impressions, I did not take it very well...as may be apparent by the fact that I still have some bitterness in my tone.
I love that people stumble upon this blog, and I love that some even post comments. I just hope that people remember that this is my impression, my thoughts, my feelings, etc., and therefore, things should be taken as gospel. Okay, not really gospel, but the gospel according to Kate. I have never intended to drag down society, and believe it or not, I am fairly knowledgeable about some things, and sometimes I have done my homework before blasting off my thoughts.
That being said, I also don't believe in deleting anything from this blog. I did so once before, and I really regretted it, because selfishly, this is about my journey through life, and it can be fairly amusing to laugh at myself later.
So let's just say that I went somewhere for a week in this wonderful state. Some good came from it, some not so good came of it, and some that won't waiver me anyway came out of it. It rained (because we're finally in monsoon season) and flooded parts of the town I was nearby. It was not as dry as Deming or Silver City was just about three weeks ago. I had never been there, so it was an adventure. I doubt I'd ever return. And the whole purpose of the trip was for work purposes, and that was a waste of department time/taxpayer dollars. I think my partner in crime for the week and I just wanted to put on our fancy red shoes and chant "there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home" until we found ourselves with Toto in bed.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
This Sucks
A friend of mine sent an e-mail that she and her husband are getting a divorce. My heart is seriously breaking for her. Divorce sucks.
I don't know if this hurts so bad because I'm hormonal (see my other blog), or because I'm realizing that more marriages end in divorce than survive, or because it hits close to home. This sucks.
Hubby and I came very, very close to divorce about 3 years ago. It hit a point where no matter what decision was made, we were both going to be hurt, our relationship would never be the same, and any decision would be wrong. It sucked.
I have no words for my friend. All I want to do is cry. It may be worse because an additional friend told me that it's official today; she's a full divorcee. I guess I figure that if Hubby and I could overcome (not that it's all better--our relationship did change, and parts of it will never be the same or even as good as it was before, but parts of it are better than I could ever imagine it would be, and that's the part that makes me believe that I did make the right decision, and that it is God's will that we remain married) what was ripping us apart, I want to believe that my friends could also overcome their obstacles. There is religious reasoning on why I believe that most obstacles can be overcome, and that while Jesus hates divorce, I'd like to think that He acknowledges that separation may be what it takes to refocus and to bring the relationship back. I hate that divorce is the answer. I hate that all I can do is support my friend in her choices and that I can't fix this for her. I hate that this sucks.
I don't know if this hurts so bad because I'm hormonal (see my other blog), or because I'm realizing that more marriages end in divorce than survive, or because it hits close to home. This sucks.
Hubby and I came very, very close to divorce about 3 years ago. It hit a point where no matter what decision was made, we were both going to be hurt, our relationship would never be the same, and any decision would be wrong. It sucked.
I have no words for my friend. All I want to do is cry. It may be worse because an additional friend told me that it's official today; she's a full divorcee. I guess I figure that if Hubby and I could overcome (not that it's all better--our relationship did change, and parts of it will never be the same or even as good as it was before, but parts of it are better than I could ever imagine it would be, and that's the part that makes me believe that I did make the right decision, and that it is God's will that we remain married) what was ripping us apart, I want to believe that my friends could also overcome their obstacles. There is religious reasoning on why I believe that most obstacles can be overcome, and that while Jesus hates divorce, I'd like to think that He acknowledges that separation may be what it takes to refocus and to bring the relationship back. I hate that divorce is the answer. I hate that all I can do is support my friend in her choices and that I can't fix this for her. I hate that this sucks.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Small Town Girl
I have never considered myself a small town girl.
I was born in Baltimore. That's real city, with millions of people.
We moved to just outside Washington, DC when I was little. That's again, a real city. There are people everywhere--in fact, although DC itself isn't very big, that's the best way to describe where we lived, since nobody's ever heard of Cheverly, MD.
When I was 6, or maybe 7, we moved to a suburb of Boulder, CO. Shortly after that, we moved to a suburb of Denver. There are millions of people in the Denver Metro Area--more than the whole state of New Mexico, I believe.
And then in high school I landed in Podunk. A town of 18,000. The nearest city doesn't even have a million people in it. I think the whole state has under 3 million. And I prided myself on being from a city. I hate the outdoors--I'd rather be inside a mall. I don't find nature relaxing; I find it dirty. I don't get joy at standing on top of a mountain; I get more joy yelling at the stupid drivers in bumper to bumper rush hour traffic (and I have actually driven in Baltimore and Denver and multiple other cities in such traffic, since we know NM will never see the likes of that!).
I always dreamed of returning to a big city to live. Well, I wanted to be in the suburbs, not the city proper. That is, until we went to Albuquerque yesterday for a doctor appointment, and had to experience the joys of parking garages with no parking and parking lots with no empty spaces. I couldn't believe how many people there were in all the spots. We ended up parking against the wall in the parking garage, so close that I got to climb over the center console and out the driver side. We figured since other vehicles were doing the same, perhaps we'd catch the tow truck on one of the other cars and could escape before we got towed.
And now I don't think I want to live in a place where there's no parking. And I'm afraid that maybe I'm destined to be a small town girl, and the city girl part of me has moved on.
I suppose I should be grateful that I don't know of a place here where parking has to be validated, so I guess nowhere in NM can't be THAT big.
I was born in Baltimore. That's real city, with millions of people.
We moved to just outside Washington, DC when I was little. That's again, a real city. There are people everywhere--in fact, although DC itself isn't very big, that's the best way to describe where we lived, since nobody's ever heard of Cheverly, MD.
When I was 6, or maybe 7, we moved to a suburb of Boulder, CO. Shortly after that, we moved to a suburb of Denver. There are millions of people in the Denver Metro Area--more than the whole state of New Mexico, I believe.
And then in high school I landed in Podunk. A town of 18,000. The nearest city doesn't even have a million people in it. I think the whole state has under 3 million. And I prided myself on being from a city. I hate the outdoors--I'd rather be inside a mall. I don't find nature relaxing; I find it dirty. I don't get joy at standing on top of a mountain; I get more joy yelling at the stupid drivers in bumper to bumper rush hour traffic (and I have actually driven in Baltimore and Denver and multiple other cities in such traffic, since we know NM will never see the likes of that!).
I always dreamed of returning to a big city to live. Well, I wanted to be in the suburbs, not the city proper. That is, until we went to Albuquerque yesterday for a doctor appointment, and had to experience the joys of parking garages with no parking and parking lots with no empty spaces. I couldn't believe how many people there were in all the spots. We ended up parking against the wall in the parking garage, so close that I got to climb over the center console and out the driver side. We figured since other vehicles were doing the same, perhaps we'd catch the tow truck on one of the other cars and could escape before we got towed.
And now I don't think I want to live in a place where there's no parking. And I'm afraid that maybe I'm destined to be a small town girl, and the city girl part of me has moved on.
I suppose I should be grateful that I don't know of a place here where parking has to be validated, so I guess nowhere in NM can't be THAT big.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Cheesecakes and Bikinis
Who goes to The Cheesecake Factory and doesn't eat dessert?
So I joined hubby in Phoenix this past week while he was there in training. I flew out Tuesday after a hurried "clean up the house for the cat sitter who is a 19 years old boy that doesn't care and is only house/cat sitting to get free satellite, food and freedom" frenzy. I seriously slept for like 3 hours and then began to clean the house so I could drive 2 hours and sit in an airport for another 2 hours for an hour long flight. I probably could have driven to Phoenix faster...
Anyway, because hubby was in class all day long, I was left to amuse myself. I swam in the pool at the hotel and slept forever and a day. I spent way too much money (great to have shopping choices!). Of course, no shopping trip is complete without a trip to Build-A-Bear, so my bear, Greggory, now has clothing from Arizona--and I bought him a fireman outfit.
When we travel, we have a rule that we have to eat somewhere that we can't get in Los Alamos or Santa Fe...so when I told our friends K&A that we'd met them for dinner any place that abides by those rules, A told me that she knew that ruled out McDonalds and Sonic, but everywhere else was fine :) So we ate at a Mexican restaurant with K&A...again, we generally avoid Mexican because it's not New MEXICAN, and that can lead to disappointment. However, we really liked the food! We ate at P.F. Changs (which we can now get in Albuquerque), Cold Stone Creamery (they closed the one in Santa Fe...grr!), and then we ate at The Cheesecake Factory.
I think we disappointed the waiter when we didn't really want a big meal. Of course, we were eating at 4:30 because I had to catch the flight home. I was disappointed when I didn't have room for dessert...who goes to this restaurant and doesn't eat dessert?!?! And it's not like there weren't a million choices of cheesecake. It's not like I don't love cheesecake. I've never met a dessert that I don't like--and if I hadn't wanted cheesecake, I could have had one of the many other choices. Instead, we left the restaurant, bought some more books at the book store, and then I went to the airport where I got hungry and had to settle for nasty airport food.
Which reminds me...when did the airlines stop giving out peanuts? When I went to Georgia, we were given stale trail mix. Going to Phoenix I got the standard small cup of flat Diet Coke, but I didn't get peanuts or stale trail mix. You'd think for the bazillion dollars it costs to fly anywhere there would be peanuts.
Final travel thoughts were that I had the pleasure of sitting behind a woman coming from Seattle to Albuquerque. She was sitting next to a man that was visiting New Mexico (I don't know where) for the weekend. I guess he's been here before, because he felt comfortable answering this woman's questions even though he answered incorrectly ("where's Santa Domingo? Isn't that north of Santa Fe?" and he answered "yes" or "aren't there like 4 feast days for the state" and again, he made up an answer). They seemed to become bosom buddies along the way, and I couldn't figure it out until I saw them deplaning...he with his sandals and white socks and straw hat, her with her bikini top blatant under a shell that had fallen off her right shoulder. He met the stereotypical description of most scientists here in my town, and she was the stereotypical free spirit hippie of Santa Fe. It's interesting that when a stranger shows interest in us, we gain confidence and begin to lose the confines of "our" type and just become part of the human race...I doubt he even noticed her bikini top.
So I joined hubby in Phoenix this past week while he was there in training. I flew out Tuesday after a hurried "clean up the house for the cat sitter who is a 19 years old boy that doesn't care and is only house/cat sitting to get free satellite, food and freedom" frenzy. I seriously slept for like 3 hours and then began to clean the house so I could drive 2 hours and sit in an airport for another 2 hours for an hour long flight. I probably could have driven to Phoenix faster...
Anyway, because hubby was in class all day long, I was left to amuse myself. I swam in the pool at the hotel and slept forever and a day. I spent way too much money (great to have shopping choices!). Of course, no shopping trip is complete without a trip to Build-A-Bear, so my bear, Greggory, now has clothing from Arizona--and I bought him a fireman outfit.
When we travel, we have a rule that we have to eat somewhere that we can't get in Los Alamos or Santa Fe...so when I told our friends K&A that we'd met them for dinner any place that abides by those rules, A told me that she knew that ruled out McDonalds and Sonic, but everywhere else was fine :) So we ate at a Mexican restaurant with K&A...again, we generally avoid Mexican because it's not New MEXICAN, and that can lead to disappointment. However, we really liked the food! We ate at P.F. Changs (which we can now get in Albuquerque), Cold Stone Creamery (they closed the one in Santa Fe...grr!), and then we ate at The Cheesecake Factory.
I think we disappointed the waiter when we didn't really want a big meal. Of course, we were eating at 4:30 because I had to catch the flight home. I was disappointed when I didn't have room for dessert...who goes to this restaurant and doesn't eat dessert?!?! And it's not like there weren't a million choices of cheesecake. It's not like I don't love cheesecake. I've never met a dessert that I don't like--and if I hadn't wanted cheesecake, I could have had one of the many other choices. Instead, we left the restaurant, bought some more books at the book store, and then I went to the airport where I got hungry and had to settle for nasty airport food.
Which reminds me...when did the airlines stop giving out peanuts? When I went to Georgia, we were given stale trail mix. Going to Phoenix I got the standard small cup of flat Diet Coke, but I didn't get peanuts or stale trail mix. You'd think for the bazillion dollars it costs to fly anywhere there would be peanuts.
Final travel thoughts were that I had the pleasure of sitting behind a woman coming from Seattle to Albuquerque. She was sitting next to a man that was visiting New Mexico (I don't know where) for the weekend. I guess he's been here before, because he felt comfortable answering this woman's questions even though he answered incorrectly ("where's Santa Domingo? Isn't that north of Santa Fe?" and he answered "yes" or "aren't there like 4 feast days for the state" and again, he made up an answer). They seemed to become bosom buddies along the way, and I couldn't figure it out until I saw them deplaning...he with his sandals and white socks and straw hat, her with her bikini top blatant under a shell that had fallen off her right shoulder. He met the stereotypical description of most scientists here in my town, and she was the stereotypical free spirit hippie of Santa Fe. It's interesting that when a stranger shows interest in us, we gain confidence and begin to lose the confines of "our" type and just become part of the human race...I doubt he even noticed her bikini top.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
"World Trade Center"
We had seen Oliver Stone's "World Trade Center" in the theaters when it came out. Mr. Stone, not known for avoiding controversy, had done a really nice job of portraying what occur ed according to two of New York's bravest and their loved ones and others involved in the rescue mission on 9/11. His movie touched me in the theaters--working with policemen, I had been totally frustrated at the number of miscommunication on the Port Authority PD's behalf, and of course I was then devastated by the loss of so many lives, not just the lives of the emergency personnel, but ALL the lives at all the various locations of attacks and the lives on board United 93. Anyway, I digress...I had managed not to cry while we were at the theater, I think because such a deep sorrow and rage was still in me.
This past weekend (well, my weekend) we bought a copy of WTC, and I took it to work. Last night we watched it with the officers that were on duty, and it was like I was watching a totally different movie because I was watching it with officers. Stupid, huh, that I felt different watching it this time...it still hurts to watch a remake of that day, and it was interesting that before the opening shots even hit the screen, we were talking about where we were that day, how we heard, what we thought at the time. It doesn't matter where you are an officer/dispatcher/detention officer--we're all part of that family, and it transcends city, county and state boundaries. We all hurt for each other, and this reopened--ever so gently--the wounds that I'm not sure time will ever heal. I hate watching grown men cry--it's a true raw emotion, even while they're attempting to hide it. How vulnerable are we all...
Even more interesting is that it opened an avenue for a co-worker and I that are on total opposite ends of the spectrum politically to talk about our thoughts on the war in Iraq, and our mutual pride in our troops. Maybe I'm just more melancholy today because it's the last week that our "adopted" son is in town on his leave from the Army, and realistically we know that this may be the last time we see him before his deployment to Iraq.
And on that note, I think I'll go to bed.
This past weekend (well, my weekend) we bought a copy of WTC, and I took it to work. Last night we watched it with the officers that were on duty, and it was like I was watching a totally different movie because I was watching it with officers. Stupid, huh, that I felt different watching it this time...it still hurts to watch a remake of that day, and it was interesting that before the opening shots even hit the screen, we were talking about where we were that day, how we heard, what we thought at the time. It doesn't matter where you are an officer/dispatcher/detention officer--we're all part of that family, and it transcends city, county and state boundaries. We all hurt for each other, and this reopened--ever so gently--the wounds that I'm not sure time will ever heal. I hate watching grown men cry--it's a true raw emotion, even while they're attempting to hide it. How vulnerable are we all...
Even more interesting is that it opened an avenue for a co-worker and I that are on total opposite ends of the spectrum politically to talk about our thoughts on the war in Iraq, and our mutual pride in our troops. Maybe I'm just more melancholy today because it's the last week that our "adopted" son is in town on his leave from the Army, and realistically we know that this may be the last time we see him before his deployment to Iraq.
And on that note, I think I'll go to bed.
Monday, July 23, 2007
40 of The Most Random Questions You Will Ever Fill Out
I love survey things, so here goes!
40 of The Most Random Questions You Will Ever Fill Out
1) What side of the heart do you draw first? Left
2) Can you dive without plugging your nose? Not without totally grossing myself out because of the water going UP my nose!
3) What color is your razor? Purple
4) What is your blood-type? O neg
5) Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? I don't think there's one person I'd like to be tied to at all unless it's a 3-legged race.
6) What is a rumor someone has spread about you? Nothing I care to share with the world...most rumors are false anyway!
7) How do you feel about carrots? I like carrots, especially in carrot cake or with dip. YUM!
8) How many chairs at the dining room table? 3 of one set and 1 of another...that's next on our list of furniture to replace, we just need a house big enough!
9) Which is the best Spice Girl? We'll have to wait for the reunion tour to determine that! Just kidding, I don't even remember all of them...
10) Do you know what time it is? 0106
11) Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince Theme Song? yes "smell ya later!"
12) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? Hope the guy next to me showered.
13) What’s your favorite kind of gum? Totally can't chew gum any more...jaw has arthritis :( Used to love spearmint unless it was Bubbalicious, and then it had to be Strawberry.
14) All’s fair in love and war? Only say it as a sarcastic comment now.
15) Do you have a crush on anyone? I like to admire God's work :) but crush on my husband :)
16) Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning? I'll never reveal it if I don't know what the word means.
17) Do you like to sleep? That's the only sport I excel at! Wish I was getting more sleep these days.
18) Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings Time? I know Arizona doesn't. I think there's probably another state too :)
19) Do you know the words to the song Total Eclipse of the Heart? Once the music starts...that's the Turnaround song!
20) Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang? Who's giving it away?
21) What’s something you’ve always wanted? To be one of those people who have to work really hard to gain weight
22) Do you have hairy legs? Not right now, I just shaved
23) What does “Semper Fidelis” stand for? "Always Faithful" (had to google the Fidelis part)
24) Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Assuming we had an ocean or a lake around, I'd swim in either! Water would be a novelty
25) Do you wear a lot of black? More than I used to
26) Describe your hair. It's a couple of inches below my shoulders, brown with reddish/blonde highlights that are way overdue to be touched up and usually in a ponytail or bun because I don't know how to style it like the hairdresser did.
27) Do you have Entomophobia? YES. I hate the wiggly things, creepy crawly things and things that don't have legs or that have more than four legs.
28) Are you an adult? Yes, most of the time.
29) Where is/are your best friend(s)? At home asleep, I hope!
30) Do you have a tan? Not even a little one anymore since I think sunlight would kill me.
31) Are you addicted to TV? Probably; I watch way too much. So much I can't even keep up with it on the DVR.
32) Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? Yup!
33) Are you a sugar freak? So much so that I convinced my work partner to make cupcakes and now we have 48 for the 2 of us. I guess we could share with the officers...
34) What happened to number 34? Like the question 34 or in general? In general, my guess is that it doesn't feel superior to 35 but better than 33.
35) What sign are you? Sag, but I don't believe in astrology
36) Where do you wish you were right now? Asleep in bed or on a sandy beach or anywhere but here!
37) Who did you copy this from? the-graham-crackers.blogspot.com
38) How do you know them? Just stumbled upon them...and may be back there! It lead to a bunch of other really good blogs--see what happens when you spy!
39) Have you kissed anyone in the past week? My husband...maybe my mommy...my pets...other people's children (but not just random children, like sorority sister kids)
40) Favorite thing to wear to bed? I love pjs and lounge wear, so I don't have just one favorite! And if it's really hot, I like just the comforter :) There's an image for you!
40 of The Most Random Questions You Will Ever Fill Out
1) What side of the heart do you draw first? Left
2) Can you dive without plugging your nose? Not without totally grossing myself out because of the water going UP my nose!
3) What color is your razor? Purple
4) What is your blood-type? O neg
5) Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? I don't think there's one person I'd like to be tied to at all unless it's a 3-legged race.
6) What is a rumor someone has spread about you? Nothing I care to share with the world...most rumors are false anyway!
7) How do you feel about carrots? I like carrots, especially in carrot cake or with dip. YUM!
8) How many chairs at the dining room table? 3 of one set and 1 of another...that's next on our list of furniture to replace, we just need a house big enough!
9) Which is the best Spice Girl? We'll have to wait for the reunion tour to determine that! Just kidding, I don't even remember all of them...
10) Do you know what time it is? 0106
11) Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince Theme Song? yes "smell ya later!"
12) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? Hope the guy next to me showered.
13) What’s your favorite kind of gum? Totally can't chew gum any more...jaw has arthritis :( Used to love spearmint unless it was Bubbalicious, and then it had to be Strawberry.
14) All’s fair in love and war? Only say it as a sarcastic comment now.
15) Do you have a crush on anyone? I like to admire God's work :) but crush on my husband :)
16) Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning? I'll never reveal it if I don't know what the word means.
17) Do you like to sleep? That's the only sport I excel at! Wish I was getting more sleep these days.
18) Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings Time? I know Arizona doesn't. I think there's probably another state too :)
19) Do you know the words to the song Total Eclipse of the Heart? Once the music starts...that's the Turnaround song!
20) Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang? Who's giving it away?
21) What’s something you’ve always wanted? To be one of those people who have to work really hard to gain weight
22) Do you have hairy legs? Not right now, I just shaved
23) What does “Semper Fidelis” stand for? "Always Faithful" (had to google the Fidelis part)
24) Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Assuming we had an ocean or a lake around, I'd swim in either! Water would be a novelty
25) Do you wear a lot of black? More than I used to
26) Describe your hair. It's a couple of inches below my shoulders, brown with reddish/blonde highlights that are way overdue to be touched up and usually in a ponytail or bun because I don't know how to style it like the hairdresser did.
27) Do you have Entomophobia? YES. I hate the wiggly things, creepy crawly things and things that don't have legs or that have more than four legs.
28) Are you an adult? Yes, most of the time.
29) Where is/are your best friend(s)? At home asleep, I hope!
30) Do you have a tan? Not even a little one anymore since I think sunlight would kill me.
31) Are you addicted to TV? Probably; I watch way too much. So much I can't even keep up with it on the DVR.
32) Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? Yup!
33) Are you a sugar freak? So much so that I convinced my work partner to make cupcakes and now we have 48 for the 2 of us. I guess we could share with the officers...
34) What happened to number 34? Like the question 34 or in general? In general, my guess is that it doesn't feel superior to 35 but better than 33.
35) What sign are you? Sag, but I don't believe in astrology
36) Where do you wish you were right now? Asleep in bed or on a sandy beach or anywhere but here!
37) Who did you copy this from? the-graham-crackers.blogspot.com
38) How do you know them? Just stumbled upon them...and may be back there! It lead to a bunch of other really good blogs--see what happens when you spy!
39) Have you kissed anyone in the past week? My husband...maybe my mommy...my pets...other people's children (but not just random children, like sorority sister kids)
40) Favorite thing to wear to bed? I love pjs and lounge wear, so I don't have just one favorite! And if it's really hot, I like just the comforter :) There's an image for you!
Sunday, July 15, 2007
RE: A Few Simple Instructions for the Challenged Among Us
Okay, so the post I had here about when to call 9-1-1 and when to leave it alone may have not been the best to read...it was a little sarcastic (I know your shocked that I may have been sarcastic!) and may have contained information that could be viewed as not so good, so I have deleted 90% of it. Plus, it totally freaked out some of my co-workers when I said that I had had enough of the not emergency calls on 9-1-1, and they panicked (on my behalf) thinking that I may be in jeopardy of spilling the beans. I would NEVER divulge information learned through my job--I totally respect that I do not met/talk to/see people at their best, and I would never exploit that. I apologize to those of you that may have been offended. Please know that despite my feelings listed here, I do encourage anybody anywhere to call 9-1-1 when they feel that they and/or another person are in danger.
That being said, I still have some issues that I want to say, and so here they are...consider them my strong irks that I really want to get off my chest:
*Do not blame the 9-1-1 operator for the crisis at hand. We do not control the weather, the drivers on the road, etc.
*Do not tell the operator what you expect for the taxes you pay (chances are they are also paying taxes and therefore pay their own salaries)
*Do not start with "This may not be an emergency..." If you call 9-1-1, we expect it to be an emergency (see above).
*Do not deny calling. Somehow we got your number/name/address...and it wasn't the 9-1-1 fairies that gave it to us.
*Do not give your child/children the phone to play with. It is not cute to have officers show up on your doorstep because Johnny was gurgling into the line...and somebody else may have needed that 9-1-1 line for a real emergency.
Okay, I may be okay on this topic for a while :)
That being said, I still have some issues that I want to say, and so here they are...consider them my strong irks that I really want to get off my chest:
*Do not blame the 9-1-1 operator for the crisis at hand. We do not control the weather, the drivers on the road, etc.
*Do not tell the operator what you expect for the taxes you pay (chances are they are also paying taxes and therefore pay their own salaries)
*Do not start with "This may not be an emergency..." If you call 9-1-1, we expect it to be an emergency (see above).
*Do not deny calling. Somehow we got your number/name/address...and it wasn't the 9-1-1 fairies that gave it to us.
*Do not give your child/children the phone to play with. It is not cute to have officers show up on your doorstep because Johnny was gurgling into the line...and somebody else may have needed that 9-1-1 line for a real emergency.
Okay, I may be okay on this topic for a while :)
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Learning something every day
I've been doing some research on this whole blogging thing...okay, so really I've just been spying on other people's sites. I know it's wrong--I don't even know these people and yet I'm able to learn a lot about them. I've discovered that many blogs have names or links that can indicate right away that I shouldn't be looking at them while I'm at work :) I've discovered that there are some that use the blogging to brag on themselves and their accomplishments. (I don't see anything wrong with being proud of yourself, but some people take it to a whole new level!) I see that there are a ton of languages that blogs come in. I also see that there are people that I want to become friends with based on their blogs...I hope there's not a way to become a blog-stalker as I have already added a site of a complete stranger to my favorites!
I also see that my random thoughts don't have to be collected into one big thought in order to post them. So this may be a good release tool for me too, as I can express any thought or feelings and I don't have to care who reads it or not.
In addition to learning more about blogging, I have learned some other useful insights for today. We attended a wedding today for two young kids, and it was a bit eerie. Same church that we had attended for many years--ever since we started dating--but left a couple of years back. My husband had been attending since he was in first grade--eons ago, as I like to remind him. However, what I learned from tonight's experience, once again, was that you can't go back to places or times in your life. I know that sounds bad, but out of about 40 familiar faces, people we used to spend time with and worship with and taught their kids in Sunday Schools or youth group, there were only maybe half that didn't just stare openly at us and then turn their backs once I smiled at them. This occurred about a month ago with most of the same people when we attended a funeral service for someone from the church. It's stupid too because it shouldn't bother me, as I only have to answer to God for my actions and for my choices, but I feel almost guilty that I wasn't able to influence or teach God's love, forgiveness and grace or to show or to lead by example His grace to these people, and then I feel guilty because it's taking away from my being able to be a good Godly example and away from my enjoyment of the ceremony or focus on the couple (or at the funeral my focus on what an incredible woman she was that just went home) because I get angry that I feel guilty, and it's all just a vicious circle.
I may need therapy.
My point is just that we can't go back to where we were or who we were. I've been on a mission of sorts for the past year to find who I was before I got married. I went back to the job I had before I met my husband. I've spent more time with my friends/sisters on a one on one basis than I have with other couples like my husband and I used to do. I've gone where I wanted to go when I wanted to go. And it hasn't made me who I was. It has reignited in me a passion that I know was truly missing as I'm much happier with myself than I have been for the past couple of years, but now I have to work on a balance, because I don't really want to be that person from years ago. I'd like to think that I've gained some wisdom along the way. And I really believe that there is a balance where I can be myself as an individual, but still be who I am with someone else too. I have to accept that while I will never be that girl again, with those friends and those ideals, who I am now is pretty cool too.
And there's my bragging for this blog posting :)
I also see that my random thoughts don't have to be collected into one big thought in order to post them. So this may be a good release tool for me too, as I can express any thought or feelings and I don't have to care who reads it or not.
In addition to learning more about blogging, I have learned some other useful insights for today. We attended a wedding today for two young kids, and it was a bit eerie. Same church that we had attended for many years--ever since we started dating--but left a couple of years back. My husband had been attending since he was in first grade--eons ago, as I like to remind him. However, what I learned from tonight's experience, once again, was that you can't go back to places or times in your life. I know that sounds bad, but out of about 40 familiar faces, people we used to spend time with and worship with and taught their kids in Sunday Schools or youth group, there were only maybe half that didn't just stare openly at us and then turn their backs once I smiled at them. This occurred about a month ago with most of the same people when we attended a funeral service for someone from the church. It's stupid too because it shouldn't bother me, as I only have to answer to God for my actions and for my choices, but I feel almost guilty that I wasn't able to influence or teach God's love, forgiveness and grace or to show or to lead by example His grace to these people, and then I feel guilty because it's taking away from my being able to be a good Godly example and away from my enjoyment of the ceremony or focus on the couple (or at the funeral my focus on what an incredible woman she was that just went home) because I get angry that I feel guilty, and it's all just a vicious circle.
I may need therapy.
My point is just that we can't go back to where we were or who we were. I've been on a mission of sorts for the past year to find who I was before I got married. I went back to the job I had before I met my husband. I've spent more time with my friends/sisters on a one on one basis than I have with other couples like my husband and I used to do. I've gone where I wanted to go when I wanted to go. And it hasn't made me who I was. It has reignited in me a passion that I know was truly missing as I'm much happier with myself than I have been for the past couple of years, but now I have to work on a balance, because I don't really want to be that person from years ago. I'd like to think that I've gained some wisdom along the way. And I really believe that there is a balance where I can be myself as an individual, but still be who I am with someone else too. I have to accept that while I will never be that girl again, with those friends and those ideals, who I am now is pretty cool too.
And there's my bragging for this blog posting :)
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