I've just returned from my routine dentist checkup, and am a little surprised by it's results.
The hygienist showed me where my front teeth appear to show signs of grinding. Yup, apparently she thinks I grind my teeth. She advised that this could be due to stress in my life that my body reacts at "night" and grinds. So I thought, hmmm....what could I be stressed over?
Could it be trying to have a baby? Could it be trying to adopt a baby? Could it be the trying to do both of those at the same time? Could it be the million other medical problems? Could it be worrying about how my body's reacting to the piles of drugs that are being pumped into me? Could it be stress over my weight--added to the joy of being a stress eater? Could it be the whole our house is too small and a million years old and crumbling around me? Could it be worrying for my friends whom are also stressed out and trying to figure out what I can do for them? Could it be work related--surely there's no stress at my job. Could it be the cost of gas? Trying to figure out how to pay for everything listed above? Turning 30?
Surely not.
And as I stressed over what I could be stressing over, and the toll it's having on the six years of orthodontia hell I went through to get straight, pretty teeth that are now disappearing thanks to my life, the dentist advised that really he doesn't think I'm a grinder because the back teeth have no wear, and I have a slight overbite that would prevent the decaying/disappearing front teeth from showing signs without the back teeth displaying huge signs. He then said I should ask Hubby if he hears me grind my teeth. You know, when we're sleeping together. Which we can't do because I work nights and he works like normal people. Thanks for the reminder of that stress too...am I causing a martial problem because Hubby wouldn't know if I grind my teeth?
So now I'm sure I will grind my teeth in a stress reaction to today.
Maybe it's a plot to make money?
Maybe I really just need a vacation.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
An Open Love Letter
Dear Hubby,
Holy crap! Eight long years have passed. It's been a remarkably hard, long, amazing, fun, laughter-filled, anxious, tearful, annoying, precious ride. And we've only just begun. Are you ready for the next eight? How about the eight after that, and after that...
I don't think either of us was prepared for what it meant to be married. We've made some mistakes, and we've each had to eat crow. We've loved hard and cried even harder. You've picked me up, dressed me, carried me, encouraged me, held me and loved me. You've suffered through my hormonal swings, my uncertainty and my constantly changing decorating ideas :) You've continued to become a man of God, and to persist in letting Him change and mold you into the man and the husband He's calling you to be.
I am so proud of you and of the decisions you are making. I pray that I can be the wife that He calls you to have for the next 88 years, starting right now, the first day of our ninth year of marriage. Lots of changes are coming our way, and I know that with Christ at the center, we will continue to succeed. He has great plans for us, and I can hardly wait!
Love, me
Holy crap! Eight long years have passed. It's been a remarkably hard, long, amazing, fun, laughter-filled, anxious, tearful, annoying, precious ride. And we've only just begun. Are you ready for the next eight? How about the eight after that, and after that...
I don't think either of us was prepared for what it meant to be married. We've made some mistakes, and we've each had to eat crow. We've loved hard and cried even harder. You've picked me up, dressed me, carried me, encouraged me, held me and loved me. You've suffered through my hormonal swings, my uncertainty and my constantly changing decorating ideas :) You've continued to become a man of God, and to persist in letting Him change and mold you into the man and the husband He's calling you to be.
I am so proud of you and of the decisions you are making. I pray that I can be the wife that He calls you to have for the next 88 years, starting right now, the first day of our ninth year of marriage. Lots of changes are coming our way, and I know that with Christ at the center, we will continue to succeed. He has great plans for us, and I can hardly wait!
Love, me
Where have I been?
30 years is a long time to pass. In December, I will celebrate surviving 30 years. And there's a million things that I should have accomplished by now. I actually thought I'd have done it all by the age of 25, but when that didn't happen, I pushed back my date to the age of 30. Ready to join my pity party? On my list:
*Becoming a kick butt secret agent that puts the bad guys away
*Living in a foreign country
*Partying with famous people
*Getting a college degree
*Having children
*Loving my job
*Saving the world
*Promoting world peace as an ambassador for like UNICEF
*Performing on stage
*Being a garbageMAN (ok, so that's from when I was like 2, and that was my career aspiration.)
*Seeing the 7 Wonders up close
*Meeting mysterious men in every country I traveled to
*Finding a cure for cancer
*Making so much money that all I can do is donate it to others
*Finding world peace
*Rescuing people from themselves
*Running for office
*Taking a road trip with no destination
*Feeding the homeless
*Saving the whales
*Own a Corvette/Ferrari/some expensive sports car
And a million more things. I have less than 3 months to accomplish everything. Think it'll happen?
Nah.
Think I'll still turn 30?
Yup.
Guess I'll have revamp, and come up with a new list of what really matters and of what I really want to do before I turn 40.
*Becoming a kick butt secret agent that puts the bad guys away
*Living in a foreign country
*Partying with famous people
*Getting a college degree
*Having children
*Loving my job
*Saving the world
*Promoting world peace as an ambassador for like UNICEF
*Performing on stage
*Being a garbageMAN (ok, so that's from when I was like 2, and that was my career aspiration.)
*Seeing the 7 Wonders up close
*Meeting mysterious men in every country I traveled to
*Finding a cure for cancer
*Making so much money that all I can do is donate it to others
*Finding world peace
*Rescuing people from themselves
*Running for office
*Taking a road trip with no destination
*Feeding the homeless
*Saving the whales
*Own a Corvette/Ferrari/some expensive sports car
And a million more things. I have less than 3 months to accomplish everything. Think it'll happen?
Nah.
Think I'll still turn 30?
Yup.
Guess I'll have revamp, and come up with a new list of what really matters and of what I really want to do before I turn 40.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
There's No Place Like Home
After the baby died, there was another tragedy in town that I had to work. However, I've now made it through a couple of rotations where nobody has died a tragic or traumatic death. In fact, nobody has died on my shift in about 3 weeks. This is good. It's been long enough that while I'm still remembering the important things in my life, everyday irritants are coming back.
I'm tired of living in a construction zone. It's a million degrees outside, and nobody but the millionaires have air conditioning in their homes in Podunk, so all my windows are open. All I hear are big trucks.
Yesterday I dragged myself home and tried to go to sleep. The construction was beginning before my head even hit the pillow. I was then fortunate enough to have workers hollering back and forth at each other (before 0800 I might add). To top off my morning, as I was finally drifting to sleep, the County began beating on my door. I dragged myself down the stairs (after fighting off the puppies that wanted to go to the door with me) and flung open the door to greet someone with my hair sticking up in interesting positions, my pajamas slightly twisted to one side and my eyes barely open. The man wanted to trim my trees. Then he wanted to cut down my trees. I finally said to him, look, bucko (okay, I didn't really call him that), I just got off a 12 hour graveyard shift at the police department. He says, oh, so you're tired? Can you be any slower to catch on????!!! I said cut down the bleeping trees (again, I didn't really say that). Then I had to wait and listen to the chainsaws.
This morning my neighbor began calling at 0700. I had finally gone to sleep at 0300. I call her back and she proceeds to share that she's coming over so we can discuss terminating the condominium. I'm again, in my pajamas. I did brush my teeth for her. She then tells me she wants to file this today with the County Clerk. So I have to put on clothing over my non-showered-non-hair-washed physique, go to the bank where I HATE going inside, and obtain a notary seal. I understand that nobody will secure a home loan for a condominium in Podunk right now, but that's really her problem and not mine, and I just wanted to sleep late and then take a bubble bath and shave my legs that haven't been shaved in over 2 weeks. They resemble a forest, and any day bugs would take up residence. But whatever, I'll help her out.
Now the doggone dog won't stop licking my finally shaved legs. The other dog keeps climbing in my lap because since I'm up it must be play time. The construction workers are using beautiful language at tones that are carrying throughout my house. The neighbor is beating on her walls. And I really just want to go to bed, but I still have a meeting that I said I could be at no problem because I was planning to sleep until now.
I wish I had ruby red shoes and could chant "there's no place like home" but I am home.
I'm tired of living in a construction zone. It's a million degrees outside, and nobody but the millionaires have air conditioning in their homes in Podunk, so all my windows are open. All I hear are big trucks.
Yesterday I dragged myself home and tried to go to sleep. The construction was beginning before my head even hit the pillow. I was then fortunate enough to have workers hollering back and forth at each other (before 0800 I might add). To top off my morning, as I was finally drifting to sleep, the County began beating on my door. I dragged myself down the stairs (after fighting off the puppies that wanted to go to the door with me) and flung open the door to greet someone with my hair sticking up in interesting positions, my pajamas slightly twisted to one side and my eyes barely open. The man wanted to trim my trees. Then he wanted to cut down my trees. I finally said to him, look, bucko (okay, I didn't really call him that), I just got off a 12 hour graveyard shift at the police department. He says, oh, so you're tired? Can you be any slower to catch on????!!! I said cut down the bleeping trees (again, I didn't really say that). Then I had to wait and listen to the chainsaws.
This morning my neighbor began calling at 0700. I had finally gone to sleep at 0300. I call her back and she proceeds to share that she's coming over so we can discuss terminating the condominium. I'm again, in my pajamas. I did brush my teeth for her. She then tells me she wants to file this today with the County Clerk. So I have to put on clothing over my non-showered-non-hair-washed physique, go to the bank where I HATE going inside, and obtain a notary seal. I understand that nobody will secure a home loan for a condominium in Podunk right now, but that's really her problem and not mine, and I just wanted to sleep late and then take a bubble bath and shave my legs that haven't been shaved in over 2 weeks. They resemble a forest, and any day bugs would take up residence. But whatever, I'll help her out.
Now the doggone dog won't stop licking my finally shaved legs. The other dog keeps climbing in my lap because since I'm up it must be play time. The construction workers are using beautiful language at tones that are carrying throughout my house. The neighbor is beating on her walls. And I really just want to go to bed, but I still have a meeting that I said I could be at no problem because I was planning to sleep until now.
I wish I had ruby red shoes and could chant "there's no place like home" but I am home.
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